


merry christmas, kiss my ass

by inimitabler



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Gen, Holidays, One Shot, give it a read please i tried, in which i try to write straight romance, short and sweet, soul squad bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28322466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inimitabler/pseuds/inimitabler
Summary: In which Eleanor puts together a last-minute Christmas celebration for the Soul Squad in the Good Place.
Relationships: Chidi Anagonye/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	merry christmas, kiss my ass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sorryforthedead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorryforthedead/gifts).



> hey so i wrote this entire thing last night and this morning and i really don't have any idea if it's any good or not, and i've never written for tgp before so bare with me! i think it's a cute story though, and it's a gift for my bestie, so i hope he likes it. enjoy!

“Eleanor!”

Eleanor startles, turning around quickly. “Man, what the f—Oh, hey, Janet!”

She relaxes at the sight of Janet, who smiles. “Hi, Eleanor. I have a message for you.”

“A message? That’s new,” Eleanor says, raising an eyebrow. “From who?”

“From you,” Janet replies, “Well, you from the past. You asked me to tell you when it was Christmas on Earth.”

“Oh, right!” Eleanor says, remembering the conversation.

Christmas had never been the most pleasant experience back on Earth. As a child, she was shuffled between her parents’ houses where she certainly never got the typical childhood Christmas experience. (Santa Claus came once, when she was five, in the form of a twenty dollar bill and a reminder that Santa Claus and his elves were not real.) By the time she was on her own, Christmas became a solo experience in which, much like her birthday, Eleanor would treat herself to whatever she wanted on that day, and that was that.

But here, in the Good Place, she is determined to change that.

“So, when is it?” Eleanor asks.

“Today.”

“Today?” Eleanor says.

“Yes, today,” Janet explains. “Well, technically it was twenty seconds ago. And again just now. But, essentially, it is today.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Eleanor panics, already trying to figure out how she can put together a last-minute holiday celebration.

Janet shakes her head. “You asked me to remind you when it was Christmas on Earth, not when it was a few days before Christmas on Earth.”

“Janet, that’s—You know what, you’re right,” Eleanor sighs. “Thanks, Janet.”

“Sure thing!” Janet says, disappearing, leaving Eleanor alone.

Eleanor’s mind races with the possibilities. How is she going to put this together? She could keep it small, for just the Soul Squad; that could make it easier. How would she tell them? And what would she get all of them?

Just then, Chidi walks through the door to their house, a bright smile on his face. It morphs into a frown when he sees the distressed look on Eleanor’s face.

“Hey, Eleanor, what’s—”

“Hey, so today is Christmas,” She explains, “And I know it’s last minute, but I want to put something together to celebrate. Just the Soul Squad—we haven’t hung out together in a little while.”

Chidi’s face contorts in distress, and Eleanor can already see the beginnings of a headache forming by his facial expression. “Oh, boy, Eleanor that’s—”

“You do not need to worry about anything,” Eleanor cuts him off, continuing, “I will take care of everything. You don’t even need to worry about getting anything for anyone because this is the Good Place, and if we want something, we can just ask for it ourselves! All you need to do is come with me later to whatever I set up, and have a good time. Okay, babe?”

She watches him contemplate for a brief moment before he says, “Okay. Sounds good.”

Eleanor raises her eyebrows. “That’s it? No follow-up questions?”

Chidi shakes his head. “Nope. I trust you.”

Eleanor smiles. “Well, good. I have to go, but I will see you and your hot self later.” She walks up to Chidi, kisses him quickly, and leaves the house. 

Project Last-Minute Christmas is a go. ‘Tis the frickin’ season.

* * *

Her first stop is Tahani’s house, and she’s met with bright smiles and an overwhelming demeanor that she’s never quite gotten used to.

“Eleanor, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Tahani asks.

“It’s Christmas on Earth today, and I want to have a little celebration for us,” Eleanor explains, “You in?”

“Of course!” Tahani exclaims, “What can I do to help?”

“Can you put together a little party? You know, a little food, decorations, a tree,” She says.

Tahani scoffs. “ _Can I put together a little party?_ ” She mocks in a poor American accent. “Consider it done. This will be the best holiday party I’ve hosted since I had Taylor Swift and Elton John over in 2013.”

“Right, okay, great,” Eleanor says, “Just something small, okay? It’s just gonna be the six of us, so it doesn’t have to be crazy.”

Tahani nods. “Yes, of course. Something _small,_ ” She winks.

“Yes, Tahani. Small.”

Nodding again, she says, “Of course, Eleanor. Your wish is my command. I’ll call Janet right now and begin preparations. I’m thinking five trees, a large fountain, all-you-can-eat shrimp cocktail—”

“Tahani!”

* * *

Her next stop is to see Jason, who she finds, surprisingly, laying out in his backyard on a beach chair, shirtless, sunglasses covering his eyes.

“Jason?” She asks.

He sits up and turns around, smiling when he sees her. “Yo, Eleanor, what’s up?”

Eleanor just laughs, “Whatcha doin, bud?”

“I’m trying to tan,” He explains. “I keep laying out here everyday, trying to get my sun on, but it’s not working. I think the sun here might be broken.”

“Jason, you know that sun isn’t—You know what, never mind. You keep trying that,” She pauses, redirecting the conversation. “I just came over to invite you to a small holiday party tonight. Today is Christmas on Earth, so I wanted to have a little get-together for the six of us. You in?”

“Oh, cool, yeah!” Jason says, “I miss Christmas. Is Santa gonna be there?”

“Santa?”

“Yeah, you know, the guy from the mall who talks to all those kids?” He explains.

Eleanor laughs, “Sorry, bud, no Santa. Maybe next time.”

Jason just shrugs, saying, “Nah, it’s cool. You know, back in Jacksonville, on Christmas we used to set off fireworks in the Walmart parking lot. Do you think we can do that?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

* * *

After she invited Michael, who was all-too excited to participate in his first human holiday celebration, Eleanor spent the rest of the day helping Tahani and Janet set up the house, ensuring that the decor would be kept to a minimum, and brainstorming gift ideas. Like she told Chidi, they are in the Good Place: anything that anyone may want or need at any time can be asked for at the drop of a hat. But that wouldn’t stop her from attempting to give her friends gifts, no matter how small.

By the time the party is beginning, Eleanor is still hopeless for ideas. How do you give someone a gift when they are literally in heaven?

Unsurprisingly, Tahani gives everyone a small bag of party favors, filled with all sorts of knick-knacks and odd items, as well as preparing a game of white elephant for everyone to play. By the end, Eleanor is left with a Chia Pet of Michael’s head, much to Jason’s disappointment and Chidi’s dismay. (She will be sure to place it directly in the center of their coffee table just to spite him.)

They hang out, playing games and dancing and singing—Jason and Tahani insisting, yet again, that Eleanor sounds _exactly_ like Princess Anna from Frozen—and joking around. Jason attempts to teach them one of his old dance team routines to a dubstep remix of _Jingle Bell Rock_ , to little success. Michael pulls out his guitar that he has (finally) learned how to play and leads them in a few Christmas carols, strumming along to the songs. At one point, Chidi pulls Eleanor up for a slow dance, and the two sway around the floor aimlessly while music plays distantly in the background.

“This has been such a great night, Eleanor,” Chidi says softly, his head resting atop hers.

“Yeah?” Eleanor asks, tilting her head into his neck. “It turned out really well. I was worried for a bit there.”

She can feel Chidi smile as he says, “It’s been wonderful. You’re wonderful.”

Eleanor tilts her head back to look into his eyes. Leaning up on her toes, she kisses him, her eyes fluttering shut as his lips part to meet hers. They kiss slowly, languidly, for a few seconds before she pulls away and turns to face everyone, still wrapped in Chidi’s embrace.

“Hey, guys, I just wanna say thanks for coming,” Eleanor says, looking at her friends in front of her.

Jason smiles and begins to chant, “Speech, speech, speech, speech!”

Eleanor shakes her head with a grin, continuing, “My holidays on Earth sucked, and I can truly say that this is the best Christmas that I have ever had, so thank you for that. I don’t have gifts for you guys because, well, my presence is your present.” She can practically feel Chidi rolling his eyes, and the mere thought makes her smile as she says, “Also you already have everything you could ever want… with me as your friend. Anyway, that’s all. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.”

She’s met with cheers, and they all begin to exchange hugs as they make their way out of the house. Just before they are about to leave, Chidi stops and pulls her back.

Eleanor turns to look at him. “What’s up? Need to say goodbye one more time?”

“No, I, uh,” Chidi mumbles, “I have a present for you.”

Eleanor sighs and complains, “Aw, man, you’re gonna make me feel bad for not actually getting you anything.

Quickly, Chidi says, “No, it’s okay. You put this all together. I just had an idea.”

“Okay,” Eleanor replies, shrugging before she says, “Well… what is it?”

“I got you one day to have the swear filter lifted,” He says with a sharp grin.

She gasps, “You did what?”

“Janet?” Chidi says, and Eleanor turns to look at Janet, who nods at Chidi. He grins, and Eleanor shakes her head.

“Come on, man, don’t fuck with me,” She says, gasping after the words come out of her mouth. “Fuck. Shit. Bitch. Asshole. Oh my God, Chidi, I fucking love you!”

She throws herself at him, hugging him tightly as he laughs loudly. Eleanor laughs and looks up at Chidi before looking out at all of their friends, hugging and laughing together.

“Well,” Eleanor says with a grin, “Merry fucking Christmas.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated!


End file.
